For some reason I am finding it a bit difficult to buy into a game. Im playing the lowest stakes possible, I have a decent sized BR to work with, and Im playing within my BRM plan. So, why do I feel hesitant to play? I think its because I had such a bad run previously with SNGs and MTTs that Im afraid this is just going to be continuation of it. Mind you, Im not afraid of losing money and I have BRM plan that assure me that I wont be losing too much at at time when I do, so I'm not playing scared money. Im more worried about the thought of my bad run continuing and how that is going to affect me. I already question my game as it with the results of my previous bad run and my overall tournament results. Im so -ROI that its not even funny, so for a downswing to continue might be a bit difficult for me to handle. Of course, I'll never know if I don't play, so I really have to get back on those tables and just see what happens. Im just hoping that things are different and work out for me this time around. As long as I keep my emotions in check and follow my BRM plan, I should be OK no matter what the outcome...I just hope its a positive one.
On a side note, I feel really silly worrying about my petty stakes downswings and bad runs when there are members of CC who downswing at stakes I can only dream about playing. I went 0/43 in .10 MTSNGs/MTTs for a -$4.30 bad run and that bothers me when there are members who downswing 100NL. While its relative to the player's BR (at the time of my bad run, I only had a $5 BR) and what stakes they play, it just makes worrying about my pathetic chump-change downswings a bit childish...Well, with that said, I guess its time for me to fucking man up and get back on those tables.
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